ya I love you guys 2

so ya I get it like I thought about before NO one will even notice i'm gone thanx alot guys love you 2 so yeah sure i'm having a blast here...NOT there is absoultly NOTHING to do and all my plans always get screwed over but I don't really have time righ tnow i'm not even supposto be on the computer so I gotta go but I mean Duh no emails of anything ANYWAY i've actually been reading alot i've finished 2 books and started a 3rd they're actually pretty cool I've read jack weyland books before but somehow forgot how cool they were now I have to go see the movie charlie anyone wanna go? i'll talk to you guys later I really do love you all have a happy new year and hopefully ya'll actually did something unlike me MAN alive this SUCKS

GOOD-BYE

good bye everyone I sure will miss you not that hardley anyone will notice......ANYWAY i won't be able to be contacted for week untill the 4th really thats when i'll be in school i love all you guys and I will see ya LATER

Why is it?

When People Are Mad...The Truth Comes Out....And You Find Out How Much People Really Do Hate You!

songs with my Name!

kinda interesting to see what other people have to say about you HUH actually not knowing me how well my name fits HUH?**********************************************************************************
Artist: Bbmak
Song: Emily's Song
Album: Sooner Or Later

You will always be the one that I adore Means so much to me but dreams you were before It's you Emily to me but dreams you were before It's you Emily that makes me write this song Your eyes are open wide, but still so much to see All that's new to you seems so old to me Now I'm far away a minute seems so long

It's just another day without you It's just another day when I'm not there I'm going to find a way to be so close to you You've got to know how much I care It's just another day without you It's just another day when I'm not there I am going to give my love, my heart, my soul to you All this I'll give to you I swear

Longing to hold you feel you in my arms Never let you go far from me for long Girl I promise you my feelings are so strong Eyes are open wide but still so much to see All that's new to you seems so old to me When I'm far away a minute seems so long

(chorus)
If only you could read what's on my mind See right through my eyes You'd sooner realize
(chorus)

********************************************************************************

Artist: Bowling for soup
Song: Emily
Album: Drunk Enough To Dance

(VERSE 1)It wasn't supposed to be like thisAnother dose of unhappinessI gave it all and managed to get shot down yet againSo I got drunkHad sex with all your friendsYou told me to never call your house again

(CHORUS)Emily, you saved the dayEmily, when you threw me away

She was always such a pretty girlNobody like her in the worldA little piece of heavenlyThat no one else could standI see her in my dreams at nightI see you when I close my eyesI just can't seem to shake you, Emily

(VERSE 2)You got your money and I got castOutside thrown out on my assIn the city with no one else, no where else to goSo I hooked up with this model from SingaporeEmily, I sure am glad you didn't want me anymore

(CHORUS)
She was always such a pretty girlNobody like her in the worldA little piece of heavenlyThat no one else could standI see her in my dreams at nightI see you when I close my eyesI just can't seem to shake you, EmilyYeah

Emily, you saved the day
Emily, you saved the day
Emily, you saved my ass

**********************************************************************************


Artist:David bowie
Song:See Emily Play
Album:Pinups

Emily tries but misunderstandsShe's often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams 'til tomorrow

(CHORUS)There is no other dayLet's try it another wayYou'll lose your mind and playFree games for MaySee Emily play

Soon after dark Emily criesGazing at trees in sorrow hardly a sound 'til tomorrow

(CHORUS)

Put on a gown that touches the groundFloat on a river for ever and everEmily

(CHORUS)

***********************************************************************************


Artist:Pink Floyd
Song:See Emily Play
Album:Relics

Emily tries but misunderstands, ah ooh
She often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams till tomorrow
There is no other day
Let's try it another way
You'll lose your mind and play
Free games for may
See Emily play
Soon after dark Emily cries, ah ooh
Gazing through trees in sorrow hardly a sound till tomorrow
There is no other day
Let's try it another way
You'll lose your mind and play
Free games for may
See Emily play
Put on a gown that touches the ground, ah ooh
Float on a river forever and ever, Emily
There is no other day
Let's try it another way
You'll lose your mind and play
Free games for may
See Emily play

okay so Riley didn't like the sin of the day so i'm changing it I will have a Mistake of the day which means you won't get one ever dya but usually i'm pretty odd and in these mistakes it can alsom be like I fell up the stairs or soemthing dumb like that so mayeb not a mistake but I duhno if you have any idea's let me know AIGHT i love you guys

the SIN of the DAY

well Something good came from Devin's Car fack of the day and NO its NOT teahcing me anything about cards cuz I just don't understand anything he says but anyway I decided so that I can write something everyday i'm gonna write a Sin of the Day starting today okay so here we go

SOD=being humble... I don't kow how.....i'm perfect

christmas mornin'

well I got some pretty cool stuff this isn't really for you guys but more of a remember what I got sorta thing.....my parents got me a digital camera and a MP3 player which is awsome and 1/2, shade got me lotion and so did Geo and andrea got me well something else vanilla ya know for a while I was trying to get away from the whole vanilla queen thing but oh well I guess its just sorta my signature scent.....anyway I got a new watch and bracelet set cuz well I washed my old watch oops ummmmm ya well we got some movies and we all had a pretty good time oh ya along with the Pj's I got last night thanx for the help Devin. they're cute and not really pajama's so I can wear them to school 2 Yeah new cloths......umm ya thats pretty much it have a Merry christmas ya'll love you guys

my friends

well I decided to give ya'll a little run down about all of....well Some of....no actuallyjust my best friends.

Sarah: my best friend in the entire world, she's ALWAYS there for me to talk to adn never seems to get tired of hearing me complain....maybe that just cuz I put up with her 2 but we kinda decided the best reason to explain why were such good friends is cuz were the only 2 sluts in utah....which may seem a little harsh..unless you really know us.....were not like sluts forsay in the way we dress....we just have fun and get the most out of life and happy to be doing it knowing there;s someone else just like us ......I think Becca(her lil' sis) (and another one of my Way good friends ) is going to turn right into one of us well actually she already is man alive I think the worls coming to an end.......besides the fact that i'm going out of my mind missing her...she's in lousiana visiting her daddy and its a little wierd for her I hope she's okaY i love her! not in a wierd way but as my best friend k

Devin: he's just about my best guy friend, even though I htink the only reason is....he's the only guy who can stand me for longer then an hour or a day at a time......I went out with him for a while but later decided I needed to see more guys and see what the world has for me to do ya know? luckily were still good friends....even though I know I make him real mad and upset sometimes i'm sorry

Riley: he used to go out with Sarah and now he's thinking about going out with Kim, which whenever they do and he starts calling her his girl-friend I know will be wierd cuz I personally think that him and Sarah go best together and seeing either one of them with other people is kinda wierd oh well what do I know but the Dumb thing is the both still love eachother..but are going through some stuff right now where they can't or seem to not want to but ANYWAY riley's gonna help me with Guitar a little I think well I hope and were gonna go make doughnuts soon..I think well weve been saying it for a while but hasn't happened yet. he's one of my best guy friends even if I don't know him all that well I would if he talked to me

Jana: she's the one who set me up with this which I love her for it cuz this is way cool BUT anyway she there to listen I think i'll now call her my lil buddah jana cuz she always know what to do and even when I dont do what she says would be a good idea she forgives me just like buddah would I just haven't called her that to her face yet so maybe she won't see this and I won't have to explain anything. lol. love ya Jana

well all of my friends are pretty complicated but I love them all even if I may mess up or say something they don't wann hear they always forgive me and that what true friends do I love you guys!!

the bitch

and YES to all of you who are reading this I AM talking about me!!!
but hey what can you do hen the truth really comes out?
NOTHIN' yep thats right I honestly wish I coul djust leave this Place the ONLY people who would even start to notice I was gone would Probably be Sarah and Vanity.....no one else would eith er notice or care they would be all ya good ridence I hate you anyway because you are a bitch! i thought i got everything fixed......i thought my best friend knew that I didn't like dancing ballroom with him......hey its NOT becaus eof wh oyo uare its because you don't TRY! and you didn't joint he team cuz the team needed someone else...you did it for me I know this because you told me...well ballroom is about all thats really going for me in life right now NOTHING else is working out I can't find a decent guy to keep around for very long. I SUCK in school, my fam is all kinda wierd besides who wants to hang around home all the time?...not me!
i tear my friends down especially my best guy friend but actually I wasn't the one saying stuff...even though he is mad at me cuz I think fords SUCK as they do anyway..besides he shouldn't get mad at my opinion but of corse he does but hell I deserve it right because I am a bitch oh well what can ya do huh

~EMZ~
p.s. ya'll may have noticed you can not comment on this blog I don't wanna know who else thinks i'm a bitch or even an answer as to what I need to do or what i am doing wrong!

the Key

ya know I cam home from school today and of corse NO one was home andrea is in the school play the music man and I guess she had a rehearsal my daddy was at work and I still don't have a clue where my mom is......and of corse I'm locked out of the house...and of Corse I don't have a key so I stated by checking the back door then after finding it locked I continued looking and checking all the windows they were all LOCKED and shut..well really it would be the other way around so strike it and reverse it they were shut and then locked....ha ha anyway I found ONE window that was open...well not Open but Not locked so I opened it....anyway the ONLY on e that was UNLOCKED that I could open was the bathroom window..which of corse lead into the shower and of corse it was TINY and i'm not very big but I seriously doubted being able to get into it so I went to see if my little neighbor girl was home nad of corse she's NOT so I went back into the back yard and tried going through the window........my jacket kept catching but I knew that if I was to give up and go back out the way I was coming in ..I well still wouldn't be in the house......so I kept at it ooops which reminds me.............PAUSE..............sorry i had to go let my dog out......anyway yeah so I decided I need a key....and so I don't loose it a key chain....and so that its not the only key on the chain....a car key 2 ...but ya righ tlike thats gonna happen.....I just need a job so I can get a car with a key and put it on a key chain then add a house key to it...now that makes sense doesn't it? well I think it does!~

FORDS SUCK and dont' u forget it

OH my Hell FORDS SUCK and you guys know it PLeas don't ANYONE forget it because they do and all of those really GAY comments on almost ALL of my entries are RETERTED and I am going to Have to hurt DEVIN and Yes I know you'll read this Devin so BEWARE....even though i'm a girl I can still hurt you grr anyway my dog is being wierd and wants to play so i'm gonna get of of here and i'm syure Devin actually wants to talk o me instead of hearing me type so ya be on Later

I'm too side tracked

okay poeple are funny I decided okay mostly I think its just Me cuz Jana and I were talking and I was all like....wait shoot what was I writing about?
okay I forget anyway I have this cute little penguin drawn on my arm and I htink he's adorable....okay i am getting Way side tracked cuz i'm talking to Devin on the phone and he Laughing and I don't know why I think he's gonna comment on my blogs hey a totsie yummy...ummm Gosh dang it I had a point to this blog......oh well love you guys

LeTtEr To A fRiEnD!

you need to chill out just a little bit....I'm screwing my life over too I mean i've kissed 22 guys in the Past year and 1/2 its Bad but its fun so I do what I can and I suck up to my Parents as much as I can like yesterday I wrote my dad an email just to say I love you and the rest of the day we the whole Family was Way cool....we actually had a family night......my daddy isn't too Happy with shade( jeremy) but neither am I I was Fine with the Name and even the nail polish and I was being okay with the Gotee but the Hair just kills me....anyways your perents liked you when you weer with me why not just came hang with me I know you have your friends now and i have mine but lets chill AIGHT like i mean its not a choice okaY......when I stole my cousins car over the summer my parents didn't trust me for the longest time but now were all cool and its better this way....cuz then I can do what I want when I want and NO questions asked or else they just don't know about it besides the story of when I snuck out....I can do it again even though I tripped out the first time my dad sleeps with ear plugs in so I'm okaY hey life isn't ALl good I just learned that just as soon as your screw up once Fix it and Make ammends cuz if you don't then everyones mad and it all SUCKS like i was Late coming home so I had to come home early from the Dance we comprimised and my group got to stay and watch a movie and leave at midnight so were all cool but other then Family life is NOT fun that Guy BEN you read about well I thought whT Danny was saying last night was that they didn't ever want to see us again cuz they're 21 and bens 23 but I was just Caught off Gaurd we just won't break the law...like Cerfew and stuff anyway if you wanna know some other stuff going on go to http://www.lifeoftheblonde.blogspot.com/ that's my personal web page adn its just different stories that have been happening and what all goes through my life...sorta my place to go and Vent to whoever wants to listen I get alot of stuff off my chest that way and I always feel better afterwards I'll probbaly put this letter on there cuz its mostly Me ya know but i hope your get something from this if not you know how to reach me i'm beter talking in person then in weriting cuz I sound so smart in person and so ...NOT smart not in person..no wait I mean on Paper.....anyway I love you talk to you Later

and the cops thought I was on DOPE

PREFACE: kay I have to preface this cause we ( meaning Sarah and I) have already had a couple people get mad and walk away from us because of this story so if ya don't wann aread it DON'T aight I don't want people getting mad at me cause thats just dumb

well this morning was really interesting......I snuck out of my house for the first time in my life...dang was it a trip..... as danny and ben came to pick me up the pulled up as I got in he was all don't shut the door hard untill we get a little bit farther away I didn't care and shut it was was all what are you doing and i'm all well my daddy sleeps with earplugs in so I have nothing to worry about...so chill aight anyway after that we went over to get Sarah and Becca as we get over to their house i see Becca just barley sliping out of her window which she had to be carefull cuz her mom's window is right next door....dun dun dun well after that we went over to get Becca's b-f and everytime someone got in the car danny was all don't slam the door and everytime we all did he was all wah wah wah we were all LOL anyway it was funny after a little bit of driving around...we finally decided to go up the canyon cuz thats where no cops would be....Man alive we were wrong at about 4 in the morning someon pulled into where we were so we started to leave when andrew was like OH Fetch thats the sherriff so were all CRAP and 1/2
so we stoped and the guy came up and we were like oh were just chillin so he asked for ID and only Dany and ben had ID so he got our names and birthdays.... and just before that he was all how old are you guys and Andrew was all i'm 14 Becca said 16 and I said 18 and Sarah just said her b-day was june 26 85 which would now make her 19 and the cop guessed that becca fixed her age with her b-day and I lied too and said it was april 1st of 1986 which would make me 18 so he took that ibnfo back to his car and everyone was like Why did you lie so were all okay your right so we went over appoligized for lying and told him the truth and that we only lied cuz we thought he was gonnna give us a cerfew ticket or call our parents which would be SO-oo incredibly BAd considering my daddy used to be a cop well after quite a while of I duhno about everyone else but I was freaking out he cam back asked something about drugs as another truck a ford no frickin doubt (stupid truck) lol anyway cam eup adn were all freaking out even more...okay fine once again I duhno about everone else but I was freakin' umm ya so he was all well the main reason we thought ya'll were up here was for doing drugs to i'm gonna bring my dog out and he's gona smell around the car and he is soemthing called agressive behavior so if he smells anything then he's gonna go at the car and oh ya ya'll have to keep your hands up while hes' around the car so we put our hands up and the dog goes around the car and LUCKILY we are all good kids and there was nothing so he finally let us go and we went home danny was all well now that thats over what shjould we do and I was all TAKE ME HOME i'm done for the night well actually morning cuz I was freaking out and still shaking even though my file is completely clean I didn't want some orem or Provo cop to catch us and be all well you guys all get cerfew tickets cause that would SUCK and 1/2 well ya they took me home and I sliped back into bed and back asleep with out anyone ever knowing..I doubt i'll try that for a while again even though I have found its really easy and besides that my daddy sleeps with earplugs in so i'm safe there too

Paul's letter

this is Pauls letter to me SUCKS huh anyway what I wrote back to him is Bolded and in these (blah blah blah)


>Hey,
>Listen. Personally, I hate you. In fact, I wouldn't have even
>talked to you if Kimberly hadn't said that you wouldn't shut up
>about you talking to me. You've been a bitch t you didn't need to swear at me) i'm glad you caught that afterwards) to me since the day I met you (the day I met you I liked you.... how was I a brat*?) and I had a low enough self-esteem to accept all the >bullshit you fed me. (what about all the crap you fed me? all the lies? i forgave you and you still dished it out) Now listen, there's no fucking way in this
>world or the next or any other world you imagine that your and my
>relationship would ever compare with mine and Kimberly's.(i wasn't trying to compare me and you, to you and kim......even as friends..I just apprieciated you being my friend when you were.) How dare you try to bring that shit up? Oh and another thing, we were never good friends at all. You used me for anything you could, you little
>whore. I'm sorry (your not sorry...the truth comes out when you mad....and i'm sorry to say but i'll never forget what you said to me through this email) I told you that we "sure were good friends". Unfortunately, you're too much of a ditz to catch the sarcasm. The
>words WERE and FRIENDS must not have caught your eye. We don't
>exist anymore, because you're a slut (whats your definition of a slut?)...not to mention, someone endless times better than you. Go find yourself some guy that's
>been laid by like 400 girls,(i've found guys I just wanted a friend) then maybe you will be good enough for
>him. As for me, why don't you back off and never speak to me again?
> Because guess what, even if there was no Kimberly, you and I would
>never speak again. In fact, we would speak less!!! So, let's get
>one thing straight. When you say that no one compares to you and
>me, you're wrong (I NEVER said that no one compares...EVER! ) Kimberly alone is infinity billion times better than you. So, the next time you want to spread rumors about what a >jerk I am and how I don't want to talk to anyone, now you can be
>right. (sorry but if you hate all of us so much you shouldn't have hung around) Because, get this. The only person I like talking to is
>Kimberly. So you and all your other little whore friends and their
>friends and everyone in that whole school can eat crap. (why did you decide NOT to swear here but anywhere else it doesn't matter?) Because I'm
>happy with Kimberly. I'm happier with her than I have ever been
>before.( if your So happy then why did you feel the need to send me a hate letter liek this? )No one can compare with her. And just to let you know, you
>were a fill in for Meghen, while I waited for her to come back. I
>should have trusted Danielle when she said you were a whore. (hey i'm sorry but WHO's the whore? Who's pregnant? NOT me....besides if I remember right me and you started because you wanted Danielle to back off ) Why
>didn't I? I guess I should have known better than to trust a blonde
>right off. What was I thinking? You weren't even attractive to me.
> Could I have ever been that low in my life.(I didn't think that you were low in life....but I did after I got this email....I think the lowest people in life are the ones who have to tear other down to bring themselves up...so ya this was pretty low) If I ever think about you and I together these days, (I didn't and haven't Wanted you back anymore then a friend for erally as long as I remember) I have to run to the bathroom so I can throw up!!!
(i'm sorry but I think that if I was that horrible you would have done something about it along time ago )
>Paul, who is and always will be forever Kimberly's!!!
>
(i'm glad your with Kim.......DUH I introduced you 2 )

talk about retarded HUH anyway IF I ever see him again I think I will punch him in the Face....lol won't that be fun? not actually NOT think I will punch him

I HAVE!

k I have considered devin.....what i'm gonna do about him and everything else......again and again and again its best if were friends.....bestfriends considering all the reasons and how much he DOES mean to me I CAN NOT loose him as a friend! which is something i'm afraid of whenever christine is around.....I hate the thought of playing with his head because I don't want to hurt him I want him to be happy so if that means him and me not talking anymore because of what people seem to think I do to him well I guess that may have to be how it is even though that would SUCK beyond all reason if he wants some other girl who can't stand me around and he chooses her over me well i'll be sad just don't send me some Hate letter ..you know like that one I got from Paul huh well I'll show it in a Minute like in the next blog along with what I wrote back in BOLD anyway Devin is everything to me like I said before.......if i'm anything but his friend right now like i mean more it could kill things for later I've tried things with him before and i loved it but being friends I think is just better if you dissagree let me know...... COMMENT do it, ......PLEASE it helps maybe if its just giving me ideas to talk about in my blogs..
IU can't loose Devin and if things didn't go over well if say we went out again then I think I would loose him and i can't...and well if you don't understand that then I'll try to personally explain it to you Later email me hey I know how about with a name cuz i'm better in person then in writing and sice I know NO one except my friends look at this then call me if ya don't remember my number its 222-9390 ~EMZ~

Devin in december

k so heres what going on and YES sarah I know that title is cheesy but oh well
Devin is my best guy friend maybe that just because he's the only guy who can really putup with me right now or maybe he still likes me but I duhno about even that anymore.....I've had guys promise me that we will stay friends but right now I htink he's the only one who means it cuz ever when I really piss him off he never completely signs me off which I really appriciate by the way devin......your there to talk to like in the middle of the night even when I know your dead tired so someimtes I have to make excuses of ME being tired so that I don't keep you up all night....then we hang up...the other day when we were hanging out we ran into a friend of his over at Pedersons in the mall he was all is htis your G-f devin? and we were all NO then he asked if we weer related and I was like NO then I was all i'm his ex....he sat there looking totally puzzled and was all way to go devin keeping her around huh....I laughed then Josh was all so do ya'll still make out and all that? and I was like NO so of corse being a guy he asked why which later got me in trouble with Devin........and the thing is devni I would make out with you becauseof corse its FUN but some of the reasons I don't or well haven't is cuz if the next day I'm flirting with some other guy I know you would be upset.......another reason is if word got around that I did make out with you well lets just say I don't want Christine......... or kristy......... or..........well what ever the hell her name is got word of it well lets just say I don't want to Die or well not really cuz I would hurt her first BUT anyway I don't wanna get in trouble at school and I have a other couple reasons I will write later cuz that was the bell andI have to go to class see ya all around later love ya ~EMZ~

December 16th 04'

well its a thursday and a prety boring one at that I do have a couple things going on tonight though.........I want to go shopping and at 6 were having a turkey dinner so we can Show a few of Kristy's frinds how to deep fry a turkey and just how good it really is oh ya and Mari( shade's g/f too) then after that my little sister is in the 9th grade top choir at her jr. high and I was in that same singing group when I was a frechman so all the alumni goes up at the end to sing our to footnotes songs so I was all excited and I was talkign to Devin and he's goonna go too he thats the next blog i'm gonna write about...what really going on with me and Devin I would do it here and NOW but it just wouldn't work cuz when these things are too long they're boring.....so Riley when are we gonna go make doughnuts? call me aight ~EMZ~

Why

Why do I screw everything up?
I didn't realize what a bitch i had been till it was brought to my attention..and now that is has I feel awful.....for everyone i've hurt mainly devin.....I just wish that I could change everything or leave like I have planned and wanted to So-oo many times.....I mean Duh i have fmaily all over....florida, virginia, portland, idaho, california, and I know just about all of them would be happy to have me.....but my parents want me here....maybe if I could transfer schools? i'll have to talk to them about that?......when I talked to devin today...we got eachothers words mixed up and I got the impression he hated me, until I talked to him an got it figured out I went to Sem 4th period and just talked to Rachel and cried about the whole time.....luckily it was snowing so when I went inside people just though my mascera was smeared cuz of that luckily they didn't know man would that have brought up some questions..... and If I would have had to talk about it I probably would have started bawling again........gosh I don't even know why i'm writing on here..........NO one ever reads it and DEVIN if you do i'm SERIOUSLY NOT trying to put you on a guilt trip.......its not that I don't like you its just I don't feel the same way about you...who knows maybe i will again but I just dont' right now i'm sorry..i was happy for you when you got a g/f.....i'm sorry that didn't work out, by the way...... I honestly don't know what to do about us...it would be easiest if we just completely sined eachother off but I don't think I want that I just don't know what to do....I don't think i'll use this like ever again,,,it gets me into trouble..I just have to get my journal back from Jenna's house I keep forgetting it so screw this cuz i'm just getting into trouble ~BYE~ to whoever may read this